I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
