i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
