There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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