I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
