i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
