David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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