ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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