He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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