you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My penis needs a shock collar
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
