I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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