Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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