I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
