I hate all girls vehemently.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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