I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
