how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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