quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
