Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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