Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
