make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
