anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
