CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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