I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
