Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize