how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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