There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
