just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
