Fuck appropriateness.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
