How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
