Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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