i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
