Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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