the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I have aggressive nipples.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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