the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
