Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
