I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
