I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
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he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
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i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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