come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
