after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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