Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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