dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
