tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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