there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
What a fucking waste of an outfit
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
