i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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