New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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