but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize