I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
