Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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