I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
