He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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