He told me they were just razor bumps!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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