I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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