Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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