Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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