Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
