you would pick up someone in the library
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I party with great urgency now.
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