he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
