Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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