I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
