I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
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You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
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You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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