you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
