She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
