I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
